LivingTodayInThePresent

GUILTY. Egads! It’s been more than a week since my last update and I feel awful for not tending to my personal blog. But what can I say? While a lot went on at the start of the year (and I do mean a LOT), I’m glad to say that all those now are over and I’ve been through the worse I think. I did write a poem about everything but it was a little tough because I feel as though I’ve lost my words back then but I’ll be publishing it in the ~Love section below just for final closure. Now speaking of guilt, I just found out the depths of my utter insensitivity this week when I got in touch with a friend who seriously had feelings for me before. While the feelings are over, I can’t help but cringe everytime I think back to what I told him before when he confessed.

Flashback: Hmm… okay, now I’m speechless. But thank you for breaking the news…okay. Don’t worry, why should I tell? As friends, liking is normal amongst us. Weird but it’s true. Let’s watch a movie again. Whoa, still reeling from shock. You take care.

Author’s Notes: EEEEEP! *the author gets smacked by a giant paper fan by a random hand* I feel like Ranma Saotome!

BEAUTY. Despite being “dumped” like dirty laundry, I don’t think I’ve ever really encountered a problem with my self-esteem as a result. The break-up was heartbreaking and tragic yes but at the same time, I never saw myself as unworthy, ugly, and all the other nasty adjectives that come to mind after being “dumped”. Maybe it’s because I never gave all of me, maybe because I had the best band-aide brigade in the company of my friends, maybe because I had suitors immediately following the break-up, or maybe its because I just know myself too well to blame myself for a failed relationship. Letting go was hard not because I’m afraid to lose him but because I believed in him for all the wrong reasons. And now that the truth has come into the light, I finally let go because I believe I’m beautiful even on my own.

LOVE.  (Notes: Pardon me if it writes like a song, that’s the form it turned out to be)

“SOMETHING GREAT”

12/31/06

We had something amazing

It was as if the sun would shine forever

But things never stay the same

And now there’s nothing left of you and me

 

We thought finding each other was destiny

And loving you was like a never-ending story

But one day my love can no longer reach you

And then you tell me you can no longer stay

 

*It’s over, love has come and is now gone

The future’s now without you, without me

Tears keep falling but I’m smiling, I know we’re over

But we had something great

 

We had something I’ll never forget

But the reality is, I can live without you

My heart aches but it’s okay

We may be over but the memories stay

 

The truth hurts and I can’t help but cry

I loved you, my heart screams inside

We’re over but I know I’ll always care

So thank you for your honesty

 

*It’s over, love has come and is now gone

The future’s now without you, without me

Tears keep falling but I’m smiling, I know we’re over

But we had something great