LivingTodayInThePresent

GUILTY. Egads! It’s been more than a week since my last update and I feel awful for not tending to my personal blog. But what can I say? While a lot went on at the start of the year (and I do mean a LOT), I’m glad to say that all those now are over and I’ve been through the worse I think. I did write a poem about everything but it was a little tough because I feel as though I’ve lost my words back then but I’ll be publishing it in the ~Love section below just for final closure. Now speaking of guilt, I just found out the depths of my utter insensitivity this week when I got in touch with a friend who seriously had feelings for me before. While the feelings are over, I can’t help but cringe everytime I think back to what I told him before when he confessed.

Flashback: Hmm… okay, now I’m speechless. But thank you for breaking the news…okay. Don’t worry, why should I tell? As friends, liking is normal amongst us. Weird but it’s true. Let’s watch a movie again. Whoa, still reeling from shock. You take care.

Author’s Notes: EEEEEP! *the author gets smacked by a giant paper fan by a random hand* I feel like Ranma Saotome!

BEAUTY. Despite being “dumped” like dirty laundry, I don’t think I’ve ever really encountered a problem with my self-esteem as a result. The break-up was heartbreaking and tragic yes but at the same time, I never saw myself as unworthy, ugly, and all the other nasty adjectives that come to mind after being “dumped”. Maybe it’s because I never gave all of me, maybe because I had the best band-aide brigade in the company of my friends, maybe because I had suitors immediately following the break-up, or maybe its because I just know myself too well to blame myself for a failed relationship. Letting go was hard not because I’m afraid to lose him but because I believed in him for all the wrong reasons. And now that the truth has come into the light, I finally let go because I believe I’m beautiful even on my own. Read the rest of this entry »