Time Is Moving Forward
She looked at her reflection, studying every detail of her face minutely.
Smooth, fair skin with a rosy tinge. High cheekbones. A slightly aquiline nose. Eyes that seemed to smile at the slightest provocation.
And then there’s her hair, curling softly against her face, falling to cover the back of her neck. At the sight of her curly locks, she smiled a bit sadly.
She remembered the rain, an endless torrent that followed her the last few months. She remembered her pulse rising at every headlight that came her way. She remembered cutting her hair so short as if severing it meant that she could take away the weight that had burdened her heart as well. She remembered her tears, the unceasing flow of it as she loved and lost her heart to someone she never expected would hurt her. Her world stopped the day he left.
Slowly, she began to run her fingers through her hair. It’s long now and as she looked at her reflection, she smiled at herself. She has never looked better than she does today. And while thinking of the past brings a little ache in her heart, it also brings back joyful memories.
Time is moving forward.
I’ll remember how to love, you taught me how…
And with that, she prayed for his happiness.
First Love
I recently got a copy of Utada Hikaru’s song, “First Love” and it struck a chord in my otherwise, black as coal, hard as a diamond, heart. The melody’s simple and haunting and I may not understand every single line sung but after I googled the English translation, I fell in love with it all the more.
Officially, Utada Hikaru’s “First Love” is now my emo-song. I can actually sing along with most of it, even though its Japanese. @.@
Saigo no kisu wa
Tabako no flavor ga shita
Nigakute setsunai kaori
Ashita no imagoro niwa
Anata wa doki ni irun darou
Dare wo omotterun darou
You are always gonna be my love
Itsuka dareka to mata koi ni ochitemo
I’ll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love song
Atarashii uta utaeru made
Tachidomaru jikan ga
Ugokidasou to shiteru
Wasuretakunai koto bakari
Ashita no imagoro niwa
Watashi wa kitto naiteru
Anata wo omotterun darou
You will always be inside my heart
Itsumo anata dake no basho ga aru kara
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love song
Atarashii uta utaeru made
You are always gonna be my love
Itsuka dareka to mata koi ni ochitemo
I’ll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Mada kanashii love song
Now and forever
English Translation Read the rest of this entry »
Guilty~Beauty~Love Part 2
GUILTY. I must confess that I’m guilty of wallowing in self-induced pity. Last night while on a rabid search to find my original transcript of records, I stumbled onto some precious mementos from my last relationship. I smiled through most of the cards, the kept tickets, the pictures but when I found a fortune from a friend’s wedding cake, tears started falling. The memories of being there in my friend’s wedding with him and making plans all came back to me…especially with the message of the fortune reading, “Faith dares anything, love bears everything…” and it didn’t help one bit that Snow Patrol’s “You Could Be Happy” began playing in my cellphone. Well, as much as I hated the waterworks, I did feel better after it. I felt a little guilty though for still crying about something in the past, my love problems are not a big deal as compared to others. And I don’t think I’m licensed to cry about my fate because I know I’m luckier and blessed than most. So I’m guilty of self-imposed misery. *sighs* Read the rest of this entry »
Trapped-fic
Today, bar none, was the worse commuting experience ever. And I’m reminded all over again, of the merits of having a boyfriend who has a car. While I would hate to admit this, I actually AM shallow enough to prefer a guy who could drive me to work on days like this over someone who’d only be there to suffer with me in that hellish commute to work. So yeah, once I’m over my disinterest and aversion to men and dating, I’d definitely pick someone who has a ride.
Shallow, shallow, shallow. But I’m real enough to admit that I’d rather shoot myself first than go through another horrendous commuting experience like today’s.
Guilty~Beauty~Love
GUILTY. Egads! It’s been more than a week since my last update and I feel awful for not tending to my personal blog. But what can I say? While a lot went on at the start of the year (and I do mean a LOT), I’m glad to say that all those now are over and I’ve been through the worse I think. I did write a poem about everything but it was a little tough because I feel as though I’ve lost my words back then but I’ll be publishing it in the ~Love section below just for final closure. Now speaking of guilt, I just found out the depths of my utter insensitivity this week when I got in touch with a friend who seriously had feelings for me before. While the feelings are over, I can’t help but cringe everytime I think back to what I told him before when he confessed.
Flashback: Hmm… okay, now I’m speechless. But thank you for breaking the news…okay. Don’t worry, why should I tell? As friends, liking is normal amongst us. Weird but it’s true. Let’s watch a movie again. Whoa, still reeling from shock. You take care.
Author’s Notes: EEEEEP! *the author gets smacked by a giant paper fan by a random hand* I feel like Ranma Saotome!
BEAUTY. Despite being “dumped” like dirty laundry, I don’t think I’ve ever really encountered a problem with my self-esteem as a result. The break-up was heartbreaking and tragic yes but at the same time, I never saw myself as unworthy, ugly, and all the other nasty adjectives that come to mind after being “dumped”. Maybe it’s because I never gave all of me, maybe because I had the best band-aide brigade in the company of my friends, maybe because I had suitors immediately following the break-up, or maybe its because I just know myself too well to blame myself for a failed relationship. Letting go was hard not because I’m afraid to lose him but because I believed in him for all the wrong reasons. And now that the truth has come into the light, I finally let go because I believe I’m beautiful even on my own. Read the rest of this entry »
