Christmas Cheer
You must not know ’bout me
You must not know ’bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he’ll be here in a minute (baby)You must not know ’bout me
You must not know ’bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don’t you ever for a second get to thinkin’
You’re irreplaceableSo since I’m not your everything
How about I’ll be nothing? - Irreplaceable by Beyonce
Christmas was a blast and all over again, I’m reminded of the countless blessings I’ve received. While I would be the last to deny that my heart was broken for the first time, I would also be the first to admit that I purposely kept it at that state for a long time because I believed in him. My faith however was unfounded and I realized, that destiny without effort is useless. Learning that, understanding that and ultimately, accepting that was a hard fought battle but it was the greatest gift I was able to give myself this christmas.
Now speaking of gifts, I really got a lot of stuff I absolutely love-love! I received “A Purpose Driven Life” book and hardbound journal, I got three new lip balms from BodyShop, I won an overnight stay at Somerset Hotel, I got my much coveted white bag, but best of all I finally got my commission! I can finally buy a new cellphone! Holding onto the past was a big mistake but it doesn’t mean anything to me now because I don’t regret it. I loved him and maybe a part of me always will but I know now that he’s not irreplaceable.
Beyond
“Beyond the ideas of rightdoing and wrongdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.”
It’s funny how resilient the human heart is. Sometimes, it’s the owner’s stubborness that keeps it cracked but in time, minus the dogged perseverance to hold onto the past– hearts DO heal.
And my day today, was way beyond expectations. ^_^ Hehehehe. I never saw it coming but the funny thing was, when sparks flew and interests were ignited, it felt completely natural. I was just being myself and I made two very interesting friends. Maybe I won’t have to play Time Crisis 4 by myself in the coming days.
Is this the “beyond” Nina’s song “Someday” was talking about? I feel it is. And I’m so glad. I couldn’t have asked for a better christmas gift than this.
Getting Stronger
As an alternative to meaningless dates and couch potato-ism, I recently enrolled in the Fitness First gym. Yesterday was my first day and I’m telling you, after months (actually, years would be a better term) of zero physical activity (excluding walking and running on two inch heels of course)– I almost passed out in the Body Combat group activity.
Cold sweat pooled in my pores, I was out of breath and out of strength 30 minutes into the activity–and I realized that not only was I the proverbial 90 (its 98 though) pound weakling but I was also sorely out of shape.
So if I’m so skinny, what the heck am I doing in a gym then? The answer is simple– I enrolled in the weight gain and toning program. I’m actually doing as little cardio as I could, packing calories for me is much harder than shedding them. But I’m doing weights, endurance and stretching–because if emotionally I’m still wrecked or jaded to the point of lesbianism (LOL), I might as well get stronger physically.
And by Christmas, I hope to be, even just a little bit, stronger this time.
Eclectic Fate
My mood today is a mishmash of creativity and overall exasperation at my fate. Why??? I’ve asked a couple of friends if my self-perception is different but they told me that how I see myself is actually pretty accurate– so again, WHY??? Why does Fate seem find glee in crossing my romance lines with chinese guys???? I don’t look anything Chinese. I have this perception that I look like a Filipino Mestiza. Do I even look like I’m Chinese in this picture? ——————->
Eds said this and I quote, “Honestly, you look like a mix of multiple bloodlines. like part spanish (nose), part japanese (eyes). your accent is kinda western, but your lips and cheeks are filipino maybe it’s the way you speak that gives you away chinese people have a way of accetuating the -a at the end of words like .. wala (walah) become wala(short stop sa a) gets?”
So with that in mind, again, I rail at Fate for throwing me choices I’m too traumatized to appreciate. The way things are, I’m so turned off chinito guys it would take a miracle worker or a really perfect guy who just happens to look slightly oriental to make me fall in love with their kind again. Not that I’m looking for love and relationships right now because I’m definitely not. My friends have all been stumbling all over themselves to hook me up with someone. While I appreciate their “pimping” (LOL), especially Scarlet, Gus and Aimee who’ve been very vocal about wanting me for somebody else they know, I’m really not into guys right now. I currently am enjoying myself going out with little pressure for romance and courtship so I want it to stay that way in the meantime. But again, the thought screaming in my head, WHY???
I love Snow Patrol… it’s becoming the main soundtrack in my mind for the manga Michiko and I are working on. It’s just so… apt. It’s lyrics are slightly mushy but mostly angsty and the music is so rockin’! “Open Your Eyes” is my idea of Maja’s song for Sky. *sighs* Its just so… perfect. *daydreams*
Every minute from this minute now
We can do what we like anywhere
I want so much to open your eyes
‘Cause I need you to look into mineTell me that you’ll open your eyes [x8]
All this feels strange and untrue
And I won’t waste a minute without you
I Died Last Night
I died last night after 10 hours of work in HCCA and spending the rest of the night shooting a video and doing voiceover work for GAME magazine’s TMS.
A bowl of noodles, a bar of Cadbury and two mugs of brewed coffee later this morning and I was resurrected. So now I’m typing like crazy to finish the Pulse newsletter deadline.
While I love Michiko to pieces for being so supportive last night, the whole shoot was not my idea of a good time. I’ve never had any complaints as a courtside reporter (I’ve even been tapped to do all-star games) and I’ve always been praised for my good memory but last night– bar none, was the worst moment of my life. Even technicians and crew members were making fun of me as I flubbed and stuttered my way around the script. While I was a gamer, it was tough to wrap my mind around games I didn’t even play and memorize a script I didn’t make after 10 hours of work earlier. It was utterly demoralizing and the only one to blame for last night’s uber late wrap up was myself.
*sighs* I don’t think I even want to see what I look like when they upload the video. Here’s a recall of the script– I finally memorized it around 12 midnight.
Game Magazine the best online gaming magazine packs a hefty walthrough feature for 2007’s first issue. First up the list is Ran Online: Episode 2’s exciting quest list which would yield the most satisfying rewards. Second is the new monsters and changes for each race in RF Online’s newest patch update Giga 5. Third is Tantra Online’s walkthough to Pilgrimage of the Dead Quest with a list of 50+ monsters you’d have to kill at least 10 times each! Take a break from the usual MMO world as we introduce you to Legend of Mir II’s oriental setting. It’s now time to don the chef’s hat as we share with you Ragnarok Online’s Levels 1-9 cooking recipes. After sampling those dishes, shed off those virtual fats by indulging in the newest online dance game, Audition Online. Looking for your destiny? We will also be giving a preview of the newest MMORPG, Supreme Destiny which introduces an enjoyable pet system. Make sure you also check out our shopping section for the most anticipated season 2 upgrades of Pangya and the new skills from Freestyle Online. All this and more in Game Magazine’s January to Feruary 2007 issue!
Agh! I hate mediocre work and last night’s memory will be etched in the Hallways of Shame. But whatever, I love the magazine, I love Michiko (in a strictly non-lesbian way) and I did get good news about getting some last pay so what the hell! It’s not like this is going to be a smear on my career! Ever heard of a gaming lawyer? A gamer’s lawyer? Eeekk!!!
