Hopeful & Happy
I’m feeling very hopeful today.
It’s funny, the song playing in my head changed from “Linger” to “Where Are You” by Natalie and it’s been pretty much nothing but smooth sailings for me. And I’m ready for that “romantic date” whatnots but of course I do still feel wary over what a “romantic date” entails. I feel–revived although I must admit a little busy because I got additional responsibilities but otherwise, I feel whole and happy. And I get very excited just thinking about tomorrow. ^_^
Uwaaa!!! Actually, I’m also looking forward to tonight–I’ve never been to Crown Plaza Hotel in Ortigas and I’m really excited to try out its amenities. I was told I can make use of the sauna, the pool and hopefully, there’s a massage parlor there because I’m definitely gonna spurlge on that if there is one!
Ohohohohoho! I’m getting really awesome vibes for tonight’s luxury and tomorrow’s BIG day. I just hope things work out well and hopefully, turn out even better than expected. I’ll try to have as many pictures as I can because it’s a special day indeed.
I’m staring out at the sky (I see you baby)
Praying that he will walk in my life
Where is the man of my dreams (right here) yea-yeah
I’ll wait forever, how silly it seems
How does he laugh? How does he cry? What’s the color of his eyes?
Does he even realize I’m here?
Where is he? Where is he? Where is he? Where is this beautiful guy?
Who is he? Who is he? Who is gonna take me so high?
Where is he? Where is he? Where is this beautiful guy?
Who is he? Who is he? Who is gonna take me so high?– Where Are You by Natalie
Ambivalent Feelings
Is my stubborn refusal to have a romantic date the stumbling block to my heart’s complete and total recovery?
I’ve been searching hard these past few days for the reason why I still remain so indifferent to the attention and affection of the opposite sex– am I a man hater now? Am I still too broken to enjoy dating? Am I still hung up on my ex? Somehow, the answer eludes me but slowly, in miniscule steps, I am getting better–I did agree (somewhat) to a romantic date so I’ll just see where it goes from there (or if it even happens).
Also, I hung out with Aimee and Ian last Saturday and we had fun drinking and talking and catching up. You know what, I really, really, REALLY envy people who can enjoy physical connections without emotional strings. It must be fantastic to enjoy all the benefits of coupledom without the emotional baggage and expectations. *Sighs*
Last Saturday, Aimee and I got to talk about the advantages of a fling versus a serious relationship. And the more we talked about it, the more I saw how much I wanted to experience having one. While I’ve dated a lot, there was still a little bit of emotional attachment to it but a fling–you don’t even have to text each other, introduce the other to your family, worry about I Love You’s, etc etc. But then again, as I’ve said about romantic dating, “Oh well, let’s just see where everything goes.”
Blogbites: Clarity and Acceptance
My horoscope yesterday was, “The moon is opposite your sign. This puts your attention to partners and close friends. You will learn something if you listen carefully to these discussions.” And truly, after dinner and spending time with Nen and Jude (he’s already the team manager of a PBL team, hence the Coach is dropped from his title) last night, I really learned a lot and it’s mostly about clarity and acceptance.
Blogbite 1. Clarity. Listening to Jude speak is very reminiscent of the way Vince speaks, slow, with low, hushed tones and with a quiet and calm disposition. I don’t know if it’s a Beda thing but they’re both down to Earth, composed guys with almost uber conservative auras. Since the break-up, I’ve been harboring all these angry feelings, I’ve always felt these destructive urges, especially when I see silver Honda Civic cars. I think at one point, I really truly hated him for not even having the balls to greet me on my birthday. It was a painful hatred that crippled me from moving on but after listening to Jude’s theory on why things turned out the way they did, clarity dawned.
Maketaku naishi! (Don’t want to be beaten)
Nakitaku naishi! (Don’t want to cry)
Warattetai kara! (I just want to smile)
MOVIN! MOVIN! –Bleach Ending Song, Movin by Takacha
Things Are Looking Up
UWAA!!! I’m so happy! My day started out bad–again, my monthly curse but aside from that, things are looking up for me. I’ll be touring American visitors around tomorrow in Greenhills, I got my favorite Bleach opening songs on my cellphone: Tonight Tonight Tonight by Beat Crusaders and Movin’ plus my mom and I sort of got over the silent treatment mode, and while I’m currently not dating anyone, I’m happy to know that I still have my options and lately, those options have also started looking up. ^_^
I don’t really think I have time to mope anymore, again, it’s been 2 months since the break-up..so it’s futile for me to torture myself and the fact that my November is fully packed with activities, weddings, baptism, team building, entrance exams– sheesh! Hopefully, when I start dating again, the guy would be strong enough to understand my schedule and bear the pressures of it with me.
Anyway, I have two mood songs playing in my head lately, first is Movin by Takacha and Shiver by Natalie Imbruglia. Now being strcuk by the LSS bug on Movin is perfectly understandable because I’ve been hooked on Bleach and have been pulling all night marathons on it but Shiver??? Hmmm…
