LivingTodayInThePresent

Disclaimers: In the anime world, this type of fiction is called “song fic”. The song featured below does not belong to me. It’s Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt. ^_^

She knew it was over, in her mind and in her heart, she has acknowledged the fact that there was no reason to stay when there’s nothing left behind.

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
‘Cause I saw the end before we’d begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.

Memories flashed through her mind, smiles given, laughter shared, tears shed, everything that mattered seemed to be slipping like sand through lax fingers.

So I took what’s mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won’t stop there,
I am here for you if you’d only care.

Can love ever really end, she wondered. Can it be forgotten like old lessons and childhood dreams? Or does it become a part of you, so intertwined as if stained through your skin?

You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.

At this point, when you’ve said goodbye, does the past intimacy shared even count for anything? When you remember the meeting of lips, the feel of skin and against skin, will it cause you sorrow or a bitter smile? How will you ever forget his touch, his taste, his warmth, his smell?

I’ve kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I’ve been addicted to you.

So to forget, she’ll say goodbye over and over again, until one day, after saying goodbye so many times, the pain will have faded.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

She was a dreamer, an idealist, a hopeless romantic with her feelings laid bare and splattered on the sidewalk. But she will move on. She is strong enough to live without him.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can’t break my spirit – it’s my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be

She thinks that though she’s determined to move on, the hardest part would be having to let go of a future that will never be and having to forget those dreams that will never be realized. Moving on also means she will have to accept, that forever doesn’t actually exist.

I’ve seen you cry, I’ve seen you smile.
I’ve watched you sleeping for a while.
I’d be the father of your child.
I’d spend a lifetime with you.

Each day, she learns that the saddest thing about breaking up is being on her own again. She feels a little bitter knowing after everything’s that’s been said and done, his words have been empty after all.

I know your fears and you know mine.
We’ve had our doubts but now we’re fine,
And I love you, I swear that’s true.
I cannot live without you.

So she’ll say goodbye over and over again, she’ll burn it into her heart, carve it into her soul, etch it onto her consciousness until goodbye becomes as real as air.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

In her dreams, she still sees him, she’s still with him. It fills her with nostalgia–even as she begins to smile again, even as she is on the mend.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I’m asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I’m kneeling at your feet

It was her final goodbye, the pain has faded but she still remembers. But at least, it’s all past tense.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

A/N: Wheew! What a dramatic song! But I loved it, very poetic! ^_^