LivingTodayInThePresent

I wouldn’t mention any other grades because the rest got failing marks..

She covered her ears as if trying to block out that professor’s stringent voice from repeating over and over in her head. Alone in her room, she sat in the darkness, wondering if perhaps the utter silence and stillness of her surroundings held the answers she had missed.

I can’t fail… I can’t fail… I can’t fail… I can’t fail…

She squeezed her eyes shut but the red mark on her test booklet glared menacingly behind her closed lids. She dimly heard her father knocking on her door asking her if she had already eaten but her mind can’t seem to get over the failure. Her cellphone was also ringing but she ignored it. Her heart seemed to be getting crushed under the heavy burden of defeat… it tasted so bitter in her mouth.

She looked to her bedside table, a glass of water stood there and almost completely unseen is a small white tablet.

Her hand began to reach out to the white tablet even as tears began to trickle.

Take it… and you don’t have to feel the pain…

She longed desperately for oblivion.

Take it… tomorrow, everything will change…

She wanted an escape hatch from the net of failure that has been cast upon her.

Take it… and you’ll be able to breate…

She wanted to forget the words she has uttered with utter simplicity and foolishness… “I will not fail…”

Take it… and darkness will be your refuge from this self-hate…

She grabbed the white tablet and put it in her mouth. Cool water coursed down her throat taking the white tablet further in her system. She laid back on her bed… the voices in head slowly subsided even as the pressure in her chest began to change to languor.Her eyes squeezed shut began to relax even as her mind began to quiet.

She sunk like stone and escaped in the depths of sleep.